Changing perspective: instead of "X, but Y", change it to "Y, but X"
When you say or think "X, but Y," change your perspective by thinking about "Y, but X":
"I love you, but you're hard to live with."
"I want to quit smoking, but the cravings are hard."
"I really want to see you, but I'm so busy."
"I'm proud of you for graduating, but now you need to find a job."
For a different perspective, flip those around:
"You're hard to live with, but I love you."
"The cravings are hard, but I want to quit smoking."
"I'm so busy, but I really want to see you."
"Now you need to find a job, but I'm proud of you for graduating."
"But" places the emphasis on the second thing, which is often the negative, or the excuse, or the slight. Flipping the statement around puts the emphasis on the positive. Of course, you could also just say/think the positive, but if the negative needs to be considered, at least get it out of the way first and move on to the positive.
(from gcanyon: reddit)